HOW BEST TO CELEBRATE THIS MOST NOBLE OF DAYS? WHY, BY permanently disabling that anachronistic joke of a key once-and-for-all. On OS X this is disappointingly simple, you just go to Keyboard prefs, Modifier Keys, and remap it to Ctrl, Option or Command (or you can map it to nothing at all, sending commands into the ether, but then who knows what you might accidentally conjure up…). It isn’t as elementary on Windows, but Google claims it can be done with a (mostly) harmless amount of registry tweaking. As for anyone who might be using some mixture of Linux, I’m afraid that in this as in all things YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN NERD. GO RECOMPILE YOUR KERNEL OR SOMETHING JESUS CHRIST.